Of Needles and Worms
by FBSaiyanfics
Summary: The best way to defeat one of the Saiyans that lives on earth is to be an enemy made out of sharp pointy needle looking bits andor be a wiggly worm type monster...Crackfic with smut, PWP. GokuVegeta...brief TrunksGoten and PiccoloGohan.


Title: Of Needles and Worms

Rating: Mature baby!!!!!

Authors: Julie and Katie (aka Julesie and 2dragonkat) (tag team all the way!)

Summary: Crack-fic with smut, PWP, what more do you want people. Goku/Vegeta...brief Trunks/Goten and Piccolo/Gohan.

Warnings: Yaoi (with hot steamy sex), DBZ women bashing, mentioned mpreg, some slight swearing, and dangerous monsters oh my

WC: 3,312

This story came up during one of our many nightly discussions when we started talking about how silly it was that Goku was so terrified of needles and Vegeta is terrified of worms, yet they are two of the strongest men in the universe. Before we realized it we were writing a story together on MSN based on this concept. We liked it so much we decided to post it, after much editing of course.

Soon we found we wrote stories rather well together and created an account where our joint fics could stay. This is the first of hopefully many fics we plan to post together, most of them humorous in nature. We hope you all enjoy...

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The best way to defeat one of the Saiyans that lives on earth is to be an enemy made out of sharp pointy needle looking bits and/or be a wiggly worm type monster. And two enemies such as described arrived on Earth one lovely spring morning.

Goku and Vegeta of course land to confront the evil menace...but upon seeing their enemy...well...

"AHHHHHHH NEEDLES," Goku cries and translocates to a deserted island. "Whew, that was close."

"AHHHHHHH WORMS," Vegeta cries and flies to the nearest deserted island.

But of course the two Saiyans landed on the same island, (it wouldn't be much of a story if they didn't). They see each other...and then... tackle each other for some hot monkey sex for comfort, to erase the horrid memories of the worms and needles.

"Kakarrotto, did you remember the condom, I'm a Suru remember?" Vegeta says after Goku has ripped his spandex suit off and is laving at his nipples.

Goku pulls away and looks up at Vegeta...insert scratch behind head and cheesy grin "...I...err...fo...forgot...I mean we came out to defeat an enemy not have comfort sex."

"BAKA," Vegeta yells and whacks Goku with an inanimate object. "Get away from me, you're not getting any of this." Vegeta tosses his hair haughtily and then proceeds to run away, running round the island with Goku right behind him, reaching out in vain to grab the sexy man in front of him.

"Please Vegeta," Goku begs. "I will make sure to pull out before I come, please."...insert large puppy dog smile...

Vegeta doesn't look back but daintily holding his torn spandex outfit to his chest as he runs, giving Goku full view of his cough cough assets. "No way. I don't trust you," Vegeta huffs while tossing his hair royally and picks up his pace.

Goku shakes his head and decides on a new tactic. He IT's directly in front of Vegeta and grabs the prince close. Goku continues to beg. "Please," he sighs while moving his hand down to just above Vegeta's ass. Goku then starts playing with Vegeta's Tail spot, trying coax him into sex.

Vegeta's eyes roll back into his head and he feels himself losing this battle. 'Nothing that feels this good should be legal...' he thinks as Goku pulls him closer. But right before Goku kisses him he opens his eyes to see the worm monster right beside them, grinning evilly at the Prince. "AHHHHHHH," Vegeta yells, jumping up in fright Vegeta pulls away from Goku and blasts off to get as much distance as possible between him and the worm.

Pouting that he just lost some hot steamy sex with his Koi, Goku turns round, and gives the worm a very Saiyan like glare and slowly a smirk appears on his face...

The worms eyes widen in fright, noticing this particular Saiyan is not afraid of him like the other one. The monster can barely scream before he is obliterated in a blinding flash of light. Goku turns around still smirking and sees some blue fabric floating down to him. Apparently Vegeta lost his grip on his clothes when trying to escape...'hmmm naked, panicked Prince...maybe there was hope for that sex anyway,' Goku thought as he flies off after Vegeta, following Vegeta's ki, slowly getting closer.

...(Meanwhile)...

Vegeta finally lands where he thinks its safe and tries to catch his breath.

He looks up, though, at the sound of evil chuckling and standing there in front of him is that weird needle monster, and worse yet, in front of this needle monster was an army of smaller worms, with needle parts sticking out of their skin. He shivers with fright and also from coldness as a breeze blows by. He looks down to notice he's naked and mumbles to himself, "What else can go wrong..."

...(And as everyone should know, that line should never be uttered in any situation, especially those involving an army of needle worms)...

Suddenly it begins to rain, messing up the prince's hair and making him feel even colder and more miserable. "I had to say it," he sighs. A moment later Goku appears, naked because he was expecting some sex, and goes to embrace Vegeta but jumps back in fear of the needle monster and his needle/worm army in front of the duo. "What do we do? who will save us?" he cried in anguish, hand flying to his forehead in drama.

Both the Saiyans, in all their (cough naked cough) glory, all of a sudden hear some dramatic music going off in the background. The two groan and slap their foreheads as they knew who it was coming their way and bracing themselves for the inevitable...

"I'm Saiyaman," a brightly dressed man declared, landing beside the naked Saiyans. "And these are my sidekicks NamekBoy and the Twin Terrors...beware evil doers!" Three more brightly dressed heros with masks and capes also landed and they posed in varying styles of idiocy, staring down the needle monster that was gaping at the hero's in confusion.

Vegeta's earlier words came to mind, 'I just had to say it' he thinks to himself for the second time that day.

Meanwhile Gohan, and the twin terror's are preparing for the fight while Piccolo gives one glance to the two naked Saiyans mumbling about how he will never understand Saiyans or their behaviors.

Suddenly the Needle Monster shouts, "You can never defeat me and my pointy minions you weird, brightly colored heros. We cause pain to all who visit...dramatic whisper...the doctor..."

"NOOOOO. Make him stop." Goku cries while holding his head in pain. Vegeta also shudders at the words and goes to Goku for comfort, but slapping at his hands before they get too friendly. "Our sons are here you Baka," he whispers.

Hearing what Vegeta just said to Goku, Trunks rolls his eyes and whispers to Goten "Your dad's just as bad as you are."

Turning back to the fight, Saiyaman does one last stupid pose and goes to attack the giant needle monster.

In a matter of dramatic, flashy moments the needle monster and his minions have been pulverized by the team of 'heros.' Goku and Vegeta shout with joy and kiss each other happily.

Trunks grins evilly and turns and grabs Goten and kisses him just like their fathers, celebrating their victory.

Piccolo turns and looks at Gohan, Gohan looks back, both blush...

They walk slowly towards each other and time slows down, with sparkles and mist surrounding them, soft music also playing in the background. "Gohan...I've always...well you see...i love you..." Piccolo whispers and takes Gohan's hands in his.

"Oh Piccolo...I love you to," Gohan sighs in happiness and they kiss like the other two couples...until a cough breaks the passionate moment...

...(You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?...silly reader)...

Standing there right in front of all the sexy couples is the hell cat also known as Chichi along with Bulma, Videl, and Mirai Trunks, who was currently jealous over all the lovely couples, wishing he was in on the action.

Gohan, Goten and Goku all scratch the backs of their heads and sheepishly look down at their feet. Trunks, Piccolo and Vegeta all cross their arms over their chests and stare the women, plus one man, down, not embarrassed in the least. "What're you looking at," Vegeta said sniffing, looking at them like they were gum on his non-existent shoes.

Mirai blushes wishing that he had been one of those couples who had just been caught and fantasizes about his old master Gohan instead of the Geeky Saiyaman Gohan that was existent in this timeline. Sighing sadly he answers, "Nothing," while the women all give death glares and then move onto what we all know is coming next

...(wait for it)...

"WTF ARE YOU DOING," the three women screech together and the sexy men are all thrown back with the force of the screams, along with some trees and innocent by-standing cute fuzzy animals. Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned though honestly these women deserve it...

Trying to get rid of the buzzing in their ears, Trunks and Goten look at each other, and slowly get up noticing their parents glares are right at this moment more directed towards Vegeta and Goku apart from Videl's who can't decide whether to glare at Gohan or Piccolo. The two demi-saiyans blast off quickly and luckily aren't noticed except by Mirai who decides to follow them and get away from this tense situation. Chichi is busy glaring at Goku while Bulma is trying to glare at Vegeta but keeps getting distracted by his naked body and her eyes slowly wander lower...

While trying, but failing, to glare at Vegeta, Bulma's mind slowly goes into the gutter and she wonders if she could somehow catch Vegeta and Goku having hot Saiyan sex, and she slowly starts to drool at the images her mind conjures. She suddenly comes out off her thoughts, though, when she hears a screech coming from somewhere that isn't from her or Chichi...

"I thought you loved me Gohan" Videl cried, pounding fruitlessly at Gohan's muscular chest.

"Well I never said that," Gohan said rolling his eyes. "I like you well enough Videl. You're just lacking a few parts I require."

"What is it, tell me. I have money. I can be whatever you want," Videl said, voice screeching, causing all around her to wince.

Scratching the back off his head like his father Gohan replies, "Well...You're not tall, green, sexy and have antennas"

Her eyes bug out of her head anime style and then Videl breaks down into hysterical tears and while she's being dramatic Piccolo and Gohan clasp hands and fly away quickly, looking for somewhere private to finish off where they've left off. Leaving Goku and Vegeta behind to deal with the women.

Goku looks towards Videl then where Gohan and Piccolo used to be standing, wishing that he could just get away with his koi so he could hopefully get that hot steamy Saiyan sex he has been craving but keeps getting snatched away from him. He scratches his chin, trying to think of an escape plan while Vegeta takes on ChiChi and Bulma. All of them begin yelling at each other, not noticing the evil smile Goku had just acquired. He walked over and pointed behind the women. "What's that," he mock gasped.

"What," Bulma and Chichi said, looking to see what Goku had pointed out, not realizing Goku had just grabbed Vegeta and translocated them to another deserted island.

Vegeta looks towards Goku and notices the evil smile on his face, something the prince usually doesn't have to face. Gulping, Vegeta tells Goku to wait a minute as they still don't have those condoms that are needed and as much as he enjoys fucking with his koi he doesn't want another brat so soon...

"But Vegeta we'd make such a cute baby together," Goku said, cornering Vegeta. "And he or she would be a full blooded Saiyan." Vegeta paused thinking over his lover's words and while he was distracted Goku pounced.

Falling to the floor and lying in a half dazed state, Vegeta doesn't realize whats happening straight away. Finally coming out of his dazed state Vegeta glares at Goku and then relents and slowly moves his hands up and around Goku's neck and they start to kiss each other passionately.

Goku smiles into the kiss, happy they were finally getting to the hot monkey sex he had been trying to get all afternoon. His hands roam down Vegeta's body. He pauses sensing something and looks up at the camera filming both him and Vegeta and with a small ki blast blows it away...

Standing there with a fuming Chichi next to her was Bulma holding a filming camera, pouting as her camera was blown away into ashes. Chichi glared at Goku, then Vegeta, then the ashes that was once the Camera, then to Bulma, slowly her brow starts to twitch, showing that she was close to blowing her lid...

"Damn it Bulma. I told you not to be so obvious. Now we'll never see what happens" Chichi screeched, stamping her feet and glaring at the wide-eyed Saiyans before her. "What. I'm a woman. I like man-on-man action just as much as the rest."

Vegeta huffs angrily, not wanting pathetic humans to watch a Saiyan mating, especially the hell cat!

Grabbing hold of Goku he tells him to teleport them somewhere where the women can't appear so they can finally get to the sex.

Goku nods, keeping a wary eye on the two women who both stared at them hungrily. He put his fingers to his forehead and took both him and his koi to the middle of a tropical forest, miles away from any human. "How's this?" he asks.

"Perfect," Vegeta replies giving a quick smirk and pulls Goku in for another kiss.

Smirking into the kiss Vegeta lets Goku lie him down knowing he can finally get what they have both wanted with no monster interruptions, no ridiculous hero interruptions and no ex-wife interruptions to ruin their fun.

Goku tenderly spreads out the body beneath him, pulling back to admire the way the light plays on the muscles of his koi. He slowly traces Vegeta's body with his eyes, followed by his fingers and his lips. Pulling back to smile at his love whenever he pulled a delicious sound from those royal lips. Giving a loving sigh from his lips he comes up again for another kiss with Vegeta. This time the kiss is a bit harder then the previous one, and whilst doing this he slowly moves his hand down Vegeta's body to his nipple and rubs it with his fingers pulling groan from Vegeta's lips..

"Kakarrotto," Vegeta whispered. His eyes rolling into his head as Goku peppered kisses down his throat, moving his hands down to stroke his side then continuing down to his thighs. Goku gently pried Vegeta's legs apart and settled between them, sighing as their erections came into contact, sinfully stroking together.

"Yes Koi?" whispered Goku lovingly back.

Goku glanced up at Vegeta for a moment and then back down to Vegeta's erection, and lowering his head down Goku kissed the tip of Vegeta erection, slowly starting to lick at the pre come dripping from the tip.

"Kakarrotto, you're driving me insane," Vegeta whispered, biting his hand as Goku tortured him with kisses up and down his cock, a hand gently caressed his balls and he whimpered in response. He looked down to see Goku smiling devilishly at him before swooping down and engulfing Vegeta's erection in his warm mouth, purring as the prince arched beneath him.

Vegeta couldn't take much more of this sweet torture, knowing Goku was doing this just to tease him, he decides to take matters into his own hands, he needs Goku to take him, NOW! He quickly sat up and shoved Goku down, straddling him before he could respond "You shouldn't tease me so much" he growled letting his lips hover over his lover just as his ass hovered over Goku's erection, teasingly brushing over the hard flesh. Goku smiled in response having waited for this reaction and laid back to enjoy the ride.

Giving Goku that sexy smirk that he loves so much (along with the rest of us) he slowly lowers his self onto Goku's erection, inhaling a deep breath of air as he does so. Goku sighs and holds himself still, enjoying watching his lover as he slowly impales his self on his cock, smiling happily knowing this it was worth all the waiting and interruptions.

Vegeta arches his back, bracing himself on shaky arms as his bottom meets Goku's hips. Slowly he opens his eyes and stares at Goku, giving a small smile at the look of pure adoration Goku was giving him. He purred and rotated his hips, sighing as Goku moved within him, stroking his sensitive walls and filling him completely.

Goku is happy to know that the small smile his prince was giving him was out of pure love and was just for him, knowing that affection is something rare to be shown from the prince. Vegeta himself is in a state of pure bliss, being filled by his love and was happy that "the third class baka" was all his.

"You ready Kakarrotto," Vegeta asked, placing his hands on Goku's shoulders. "Always baby," he replied, putting his hands on Vegeta's hips to steady him. Vegeta smirked before throwing his head back and thrusting his hips up and down with abandon, crying out as his prostate was stroked by Goku's large, hot cock. He bounced up and down, letting the hands on his hips guide him as he drowned in ecstacy.

Moaning in bliss both Vegeta and Goku knew that they were going to come soon and Goku wanting Vegeta to come first tried to make sure his cock would stroke Vegeta's prostate every time, Vegeta in so much Ecstasy that although he knew it would be over soon he didn't care at all, he just wanted the wonderful sensations to continue. He reached his hand down and stroked his own hard erection, moaning at the dual feelings. Goku moaned in response to the visual stimulation, seeing his lover lost in ecstacy brought him close and he thrust hard, trying to push his prince over the edge and into the oblivion of the sweetest release.

Noticing that it was working Goku decided to do one last thing to add to his prince's pleasure and took one hand off his prince's hip and moved it behind Vegeta, to just above his ass where his tail scar was. Slowly Goku started stroking the scar knowing it would cause even more pleasure to flow through Vegeta' s body, which in turn would make him even more sensitive to the touch and push him over the edge.

Vegeta shouted at the touch and felt heat pool in his belly before it exploded. Colors flashed behind his closed eyes, his cry echoed in Goku's ears as his semen coated their heaving bodies. His body slumped in exhaustion and he moaned as Goku continued to pound into him.

Goku felt his loins tighten even more at the sight of bringing his lover to his peak, and he thrusted a few more times into Vegeta. He threw his head back as his seed exploded into Vegeta's body, eliciting a cry from his mouth and making Goku feel like he was in an even sweeter version of the heaven he had went to when he had died.

They collapsed in a tangle of sweaty limbs. Goku looked up lazily to the canopy above him, feeling his body release all its previous tension. He had been a fool not to do this sooner, and more often. He should have been with Vegeta this whole time instead of Chichi, because his prince never denied him the chance for mind blowing sex among the other things he loved to do, like fighting.

The pair turn to each other and kissed passionately, Vegeta then lay his head on Goku's chest slowly succumbing to a sleep that always seemed to come after sex with the other full blooded Saiyan. Goku looked at his love for a few more minutes, knowing this was definitely the right thing to do. Even if the rest of the Z-fighters didn't approve of their new relationship he was too happy to care because he finally felt whole and complete, with the smaller man in his arms. And with this as his last thought he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

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Review, review, review please. Since this is our first fic together we want to know how we did.

Happy Holidays everyone.


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